Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

I was tired of fighting.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Have you ever had a scary dream about a loved one or friend soon after their death?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Were knights’ lances practical weapons, or were they just for sports?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Be who you already are.

What does it mean when a guy says he's afraid of falling for someone else after going through heartbreaks?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

How would you feel if your friend confided in you that she is cheating on her husband, knowing that he loves her deeply? What emotional and ethical considerations would you grapple with in response to her revelation?

I was tired of trying and failing.

And the sadness?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

How do you relax?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

I had run out of hope.

Who is Meghan Markle and why is she so controversial on the Internet?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

The sadness was still there.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Is it possible to revive a dead person in real life with black magic?

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

You are like me, then.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

What started the whole idea of femboys? What is the whole point of a femboy? Did a boy or a man just randomly start dressing or acting feminine or something?

It’s still here.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Why does the UK Labour MP Jess Philips seem to be such a divisive figure?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.